Sunday, May 20, 2007

The mathematics of relationships

As long time readers know, I believe that internet dating sites can be a very good source of information on what today's women are looking for in relationships currently, and what they themselves are like.

I've been working on a theory, which is still not fully formed, but I'll give you a taster of it.

I call it the Y:O ratio. Basically I think there is interesting information contained within the age range of man that a woman is looking for. But the key thing is that you look at it in terms of how much younger (the Y parter) or older (the O part) than her OWN age she is willing to look.

Now, there are a couple of small caveats here. Firstly, there is a high chance that if a woman puts her age down as 29, she is actually 30, and likewise for 39 and 40. Secondly, there IS the fact that a lot (maybe most) women DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW what it is that they want, but that doesn't detract from the power of the Y:O ratio because you are looking for their subconscious motivations and tendencies. A lot of women may, in theory, for example, agree with you that older women/younger men relationships are less stable (on average) than those the other way around, but she might still have the tendency to go for those.

Now, baring all that in mind, here is what I think about different Y:O ratios.

If the Y is greater than the O, then the woman is highly likely to have an immature streak in her, and/or is looking for a relationship that she can control. There are very few women who will say they are ONLY looking for someone younger than them, because I think even they are aware that this would look weird. So any ratio in which the Y is greater than the O is indicative of a woman who is basically looking for a younger man.

If the Y and the O are exactly equally balanced (this happens less often than you might think), then the woman is either indecisive, or she is a great believer in the ideology of 'equality' (but don't think thats a good thing, because it is, in my view unworkable in relationships and will lead to endless conflict).

If the O is greater than the Y, but she is still willing to look a little bit younger than herself, then thats probably the closest you can get to being normal (although that doesn't preclude the possibility that she is abnormal in some other sense!).

If there is no Y, i.e. if she only wants someone older, then shes clearly looking for someone to support her in some sense.

If the O is massively greater than the Y, then shes probably a gold-digger of some sort.

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