Friday, May 30, 2008
'Sex and the city' gave women the feeling that its aceptable to be promiscuous, shallow and materialitic
Two and a half hours. Process that for a moment. Two and one half hours. Not 90 minutes. Not two hours. Two and a half hours. Now, with that firmly in mind, process this. Imagine, if you will, a Rob Schneider movie, a Ben Stiller movie and an Adam Sandler movie teaming up and slipping Rohypnol to the BRATZ movie, pulling a train on her sorry, barely legal ass, then leaving the unfortunate spawn of that unholy union in the LA sun for 40 years until it rotted and leathered to the point that it was attractive only to gay men and other women. That’s the movie.
The above comes from a pretty funny review of the new 'Sex and the city' movie by a man over at Aint It Cool News. Here are a few more quotes from his review:
"They’re not flirty and single because it’s so hard to find a good man. It’s because they’re all completely self-obsessed, neurotic, high maintenance divas. And I found each and every one of them thoroughly unlikable."
"But I just couldn’t get over how much this shared in common with BRATZ: the Movie. Montage after montage after montage with each and every problem finding a solution by the fabulously dressed four getting together, squee-ing in a pitch that will deafen dogs and neuter most of the males in the audience, and realizing that friendship will get you through any bout of rampant self-absorption. Oh, so this is what happens when you leave Bratz dolls in the sun too long."
"I pity any man who walks into this with his girl thinking he is in for just the usual hour and a half ass pounding only to discover that instead he’s entered a two and a half hour oubliette from which there is no escape."
Anyway, this new movie is out, featuring the four actresses from the original TV show - one of whom is a dyke in real life, and another was voted by the readers of Maxim magazine 'The world's unsexiest woman'. Incidentally, I doubt she won just because she's got a face like a horse, but because she touts herself as so attractive and because shes cultivated this image - via this awful TV series - as being a bitchy, snobby, slut. In other words: she had it coming to her.
Now, it probably goes without saying, but this show was extremely popular with women, and had an aspirational element to it: its female fans - who were legion - wanted to live the lifestyle it portrays. Impressionable young girls found this the perfect excuse for ruining themselves by emulating the slutty behaviour in this show. How sad.
Nevertheless, there is one thing this show has given men: a great quick-and-simple method whereby to assess the quality-of-character of any potential girlfriend: simply ask her if she liked the show. Then if she did, drop her.
However, if the studio had come to me first, I swear I could have saved this project.
Heres what I would have said to the studio execs:
Okay, we know several things about this show:
1. Its written by gay men, and everyone knows its about the promiscuous gay lifestyle projected onto women (at least it was back in the mid-to-late-90s,, these days young women are just as promiscuous, probably at least partly due to this show and others like it).
2. Its *supposed* to be funny. Its *supposed* to make people laugh. (although I've seen no evidence of this)
3. The actresses all want loads of money to appear in the movie.
"Okay," I would say, looking down the boardroom table at the studio execs, "What does this suggest to you all?"
"I'll tell you what it suggests to me: scrap the original actresses from the project - after all, we all know that a successful franchise is almost never dependent on any one particular actor - and get unknown gay male actors to play the roles! But play them as though nothing had changed. Use the same character names, same outfits, everything. Get them playing it in drag, but dead seriously. Now, THAT would be hilarious, would save money, AND would acknowledge the true roots of the show."
At that point I just KNOW that the execs would start to think, then slowly nod their heads as the genius of the idea sinks in!