Men's Memes: Advice to women on dating sites

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Advice to women on dating sites

I've just been reading a thread on one of the men's sites about women and dating sites. As you know, I think looking through the profiles on dating sites is a great way of quickly getting a feel for what people are currently looking for, and although most women say one thing and do another, their requests on dating profiles are probably more honest than their everyday claim of what they want.

Anyway, there were some interesting points on the thread, repeating the often heard idea that women do not want nice men and go wild for the bad boy types. Another insightful post was that the women suddenly become all romantic around the holiday season and actually answer their emails rather than ignoring 99% of the men lol

However, I've noticed an alarming number of idiotic statements within the profiles of women. Yes, I know its hard to believe, but its true!

In the spirit of Christmas, I've decided to share my insights with the many (?) female readers of this site. Gather around ladies, get your note-pads and pens ready....

1. I'll start with the most idiotic statement of all:

"I love going out, but also love staying in to watch a DVD!"

Believe it or not this statement - or some variation on it - is contained within about two thirds of the women's profiles I've seen. What is the point of it? Its the most banal thing you can possibily say. Appart from saying that they are not one of the tiny minority of young women who either never go out, or never stay in, it tells you nothing about them at all. Don't include this statement, it makes you look both ditzy and banal. Not a winning combination.

2. Having the very first statement on your profile point out that you are independent.

Look, if your sooo independent, and this is such an important part of your personality that you feel its the very first thing to say about you, why on earth are you seeking a relationship? Do you not realise that a relationship implies some inter-dependency? Some merging of interests? Surprisingly, at least 10%, maybe higher, of the women's profiles I've seen do this.

3. Point out that you are 'attractive'

Again, we are into the territory of pointless statements, but this one is worse because its tacky as well as pointless. If you are genuinely attractive then your pictures will show it, if you are not attractive, then simply chanting the mantra that you are will not convince anyone. Oh, and saying "My friends say I'm attractive." does not make it any less tacky or obvious!

4. Having a totally random and pointless headline to your profile

Having studied advertising, I've learned that the worst advertisers try to get 'cute' in their headlines, rather than writing something appropriate, like an actual BENEFIT to their product (or, ideally, a UNIQUE benefit that their product offers). The worst advertisers like to just please themselves by writing something clever and funny, which amuses them, but does little to move anyone else to action.

To illustrate what I mean, here are some REAL titles from women's profiles that I've just found for you:

Alright mateys :) ?

Hi!!!!!

Never run with scissors..

Crazy

Well, at least that last one tells me something.

5. Refering to yourself as a 'Princess'

You are not a princess, you never will be a princess. GET OVER IT! This one is just as bad as calling yourself a Goddess. Who do you think you are fooling? Its truly astonishing, the crap that such women think they can get away with! Imagine if a man posted a profile in which he said:

I'm an attractive God looking for a woman who knows how to treat me like a prince.

People would laugh at him, yet this is exactly the kind of nonsense that is par for the course in women's profiles. What makes it even more sickening is when such women are either clearly very unattractive in looks and/or personality (yet think they are princesses) and when they are clearly 'career women' with a good salary yet are looking to be spoilt with gifts and other material trinkets from a man.

6. Mentioning prominently that you are into partying and drinking

Okay, maybe this is not a mistake as such, because if this is what you are truly like then its best that the man knows. Nevertheless, I've found it shocking how many women use the first paragraph of their profile to rattle on about their love of partying and of finding new bars. Its an insight into the consciousness of modern women that this is the first thing that pours out of their mouths when they are given a public platform in which to advertise themselves as a potential mate.

7. Wearing dark glasses in your profile photo

Makes you look shifty if in your only photo your eyes are hidden. (applies equally to men)

8. Your photo shows you next to one or more men

I don't think I really need to go into depth on why this is not a great idea. Why do some women do this? Perhaps its a sign that they will love to try and provoke jealousy in you by partying with their male 'friends'? Or perhaps its a sign that they are in fact, shall we say, a professional?

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Turn of the tide: feminists begin to regret

Cosmopolitan (The women's magazine that urges women to use men for sex) Editor Lorraine Candy has a change of mind and now urges women not to have "Soul-less sex":

"We didn't feel ashamed about one-night stands...this, we thought, is what feminism is about."

70s feminist Fay Weldon now says:

"It is the fault of me and my like, who... got it wrong.

So were we wrong, we feminists, setting women free? The results have been devastating – greater than we ever imagined.

We steamed ahead, changing the world with too little caution, and I hope the future will forgive us.

The pendulum has swung too far over. But it may yet swing back again. Societies, thank God, tend to be self-righting."

"Once a man could look forward to starting a family and the dignity that came from being the provider. Forget it. At best as a man you're decorative, look after the kids and earn a bit sometimes; at worst you're a write-off. Women are elbowing the men out. The boys get anxious, the girls swagger. The male suicide rate goes up, female down. Twenty-eight per cent of us now live in single person households - a lonely and unnatural state - and most of the 28 per cent consist of young men. It is strange that it is left to a woman to suggest, in the normal nurturing way, that men start some kind of movement to promote their gender's status and self-esteem - call it masculinism, brotherism, machoism, what you want - and some mark of the success of the feminist movement, that it needs to be done."

60's feminist Doris Lessing now says:

"It is time we began to ask who are these women who continually rubbish men. The most stupid, ill-educated and nasty woman can rubbish the nicest, kindest and most intelligent man and no one protests.

Men seem to be so cowed that they can't fight back, and it is time they did."

An excerpt from an interview with Joan Rivers:

"She's not with the feminists when it comes to matters of the heart. For her, they're to blame for the current parlous state of our relationships, as depicted in these television Shows (Such as Sex in the city) and films. "I saw this coming. You cannot be equal to a man, you cannot make a man feel 'I don't need you' or 'I'll take my sex when I want it'. All these shows are so sad."

Camille Paglia :

"Women have been discouraged from genres such as sculpture that require studio training or expensive materials.

But in philosophy, mathematics, and poetry, the only materials are pen and paper.

Male conspiracy cannot explain ALL female failures.

I am convinced that, even without restrictions, there still would have been no female Pascal, Milton, or Kant.

. . . Even now, with all vocations open, I marvel at the rarity of the woman driven by artistic or intellectual obsession, that self-mutilating derangement of social relationship which, in its alternate forms of crime and ideation, is the disgrace and glory of the human species."