Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Advice to women on dating sites

I've just been reading a thread on one of the men's sites about women and dating sites. As you know, I think looking through the profiles on dating sites is a great way of quickly getting a feel for what people are currently looking for, and although most women say one thing and do another, their requests on dating profiles are probably more honest than their everyday claim of what they want.

Anyway, there were some interesting points on the thread, repeating the often heard idea that women do not want nice men and go wild for the bad boy types. Another insightful post was that the women suddenly become all romantic around the holiday season and actually answer their emails rather than ignoring 99% of the men lol

However, I've noticed an alarming number of idiotic statements within the profiles of women. Yes, I know its hard to believe, but its true!

In the spirit of Christmas, I've decided to share my insights with the many (?) female readers of this site. Gather around ladies, get your note-pads and pens ready....

1. I'll start with the most idiotic statement of all:

"I love going out, but also love staying in to watch a DVD!"

Believe it or not this statement - or some variation on it - is contained within about two thirds of the women's profiles I've seen. What is the point of it? Its the most banal thing you can possibily say. Appart from saying that they are not one of the tiny minority of young women who either never go out, or never stay in, it tells you nothing about them at all. Don't include this statement, it makes you look both ditzy and banal. Not a winning combination.

2. Having the very first statement on your profile point out that you are independent.

Look, if your sooo independent, and this is such an important part of your personality that you feel its the very first thing to say about you, why on earth are you seeking a relationship? Do you not realise that a relationship implies some inter-dependency? Some merging of interests? Surprisingly, at least 10%, maybe higher, of the women's profiles I've seen do this.

3. Point out that you are 'attractive'

Again, we are into the territory of pointless statements, but this one is worse because its tacky as well as pointless. If you are genuinely attractive then your pictures will show it, if you are not attractive, then simply chanting the mantra that you are will not convince anyone. Oh, and saying "My friends say I'm attractive." does not make it any less tacky or obvious!

4. Having a totally random and pointless headline to your profile

Having studied advertising, I've learned that the worst advertisers try to get 'cute' in their headlines, rather than writing something appropriate, like an actual BENEFIT to their product (or, ideally, a UNIQUE benefit that their product offers). The worst advertisers like to just please themselves by writing something clever and funny, which amuses them, but does little to move anyone else to action.

To illustrate what I mean, here are some REAL titles from women's profiles that I've just found for you:

Alright mateys :) ?


Never run with scissors..


Well, at least that last one tells me something.

5. Refering to yourself as a 'Princess'

You are not a princess, you never will be a princess. GET OVER IT! This one is just as bad as calling yourself a Goddess. Who do you think you are fooling? Its truly astonishing, the crap that such women think they can get away with! Imagine if a man posted a profile in which he said:

I'm an attractive God looking for a woman who knows how to treat me like a prince.

People would laugh at him, yet this is exactly the kind of nonsense that is par for the course in women's profiles. What makes it even more sickening is when such women are either clearly very unattractive in looks and/or personality (yet think they are princesses) and when they are clearly 'career women' with a good salary yet are looking to be spoilt with gifts and other material trinkets from a man.

6. Mentioning prominently that you are into partying and drinking

Okay, maybe this is not a mistake as such, because if this is what you are truly like then its best that the man knows. Nevertheless, I've found it shocking how many women use the first paragraph of their profile to rattle on about their love of partying and of finding new bars. Its an insight into the consciousness of modern women that this is the first thing that pours out of their mouths when they are given a public platform in which to advertise themselves as a potential mate.

7. Wearing dark glasses in your profile photo

Makes you look shifty if in your only photo your eyes are hidden. (applies equally to men)

8. Your photo shows you next to one or more men

I don't think I really need to go into depth on why this is not a great idea. Why do some women do this? Perhaps its a sign that they will love to try and provoke jealousy in you by partying with their male 'friends'? Or perhaps its a sign that they are in fact, shall we say, a professional?

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